Number Of Pages: 224
Release Date: 29-10-2013
Item Condition: UsedVeryGood
Details: Product Description You are an idiot. Don't get defensive! It's not your fault. For decades your teachers, authority figures and textbooks have been lying to you. You do not have five senses. Your tongue doesn't have neatly segregated taste-bud zones. You don't know what the pyramids really looked like. You're even pooping wrong - Jesus, you're a wreck! But it's going to be okay. Because we're here to help. Packed with more sexy facts than the Encyclopedia Pornographica, the Cracked De-Textbook will teach you about the true stars of history, why you picture everything from Velociraptors to Ancient Rome incorrectly, and finally, at long last - how to pop a proper squat. This book was built from the ground up to systematically seek out, dismantle and destroy the many untruths that years of misguided education have left festering inside of you, and leave you a smarter person...whether you like it or not. The De-Textbook is a merciless, brutal learning machine. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are informed. Review Praise for YOU MIGHT BE A ZOMBIE AND OTHER BAD NEWS "In a sea of literary lies, finally a book that will tell you the truth about the things you need to know."— Sarah Silverman "Smart, funny, and cool."— Roger Ebert "The funniest, wisest, greatest book ever written! I keep reading and rereading it here in my padded cell!"— Stan Lee About the Author Founded in 1958 as a print publication, Cracked.com has been published exclusively online since 2006. Jack O’Brien, the site’s editor in chief, lives in New York. Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. EDITOR IN CHIEF Jack O’Brien EXECUTIVE EDITOR David Wong HEAD WRITER Daniel O’Brien SENIOR EDITORS Michael Swaim, Robert Brockway, Soren Bowie, Kristi Harrison, Adam Tod Brown, Cody Johnston CONTRIBUTORS Jacopo della Quercia, Robert Evans, C. Coville, Eddie Rodriguez, Alexander L. Hoffman, Karl Smallwood, Cyriaque Lamar, Tom Reimann, Maxwell Yezpitelok, S. Peter Davis, Christian Ames, R. Jason Benson, Kathy Benjamin, Danny Harkins, Eric Yosomono, Juan Arteaga, David Dietle, Elford Alley, Pauli Poisuo, Christina H., Crystal Beran, Dennis Hong, Rohan Ramakrishnan, Cezary Jan Strusiewicz, Clive Jameson, Evan V. Symon, Jake Klink, Levi Ritchi, Lola C., M. Asher Cantrell, Xavier Jackson, Adam Wears, Brendan McGinley, Christian-Madera, Colin Murdock, Craig Thomas, Dan Seitz, David A. Vindiola, Geoffrey Young, J. F. Sargent, Jack Mendoza, Jake Slocum, Jonathan Wojcik, Justin Crockett, Katherine Smith, Kenny Thompson, Kevin Forde, Mark M., Martin Bear, Michael Voll, Mohammed Shariff, Nathan Birch, Philip Moon, Rob Sylvester, S. Peter Davis, Samuel Bloodthirst, Shayn Nicely, Steve Kolenberg, Tom Lagana, XJ Selman ART DIRECTORS Monique Wolf, Randall Maynard COVER ART Adam Simpson COPY EDITORS Sheila Moody, Erica Ferguson, Andrea Reuter SPECIAL THANKS Becky Cole, Kate Napolitano, Jaya Miceli, Demand Media, Dan Strone at Trident Media Group, John Cheese, Sean Reiley, Chris Bucholz, Wayne Gladstone, Luke McKinney, Ian Fortey, Alex Green, Kristin Plate, spouses, moms, dads For granting us continual existence through its inconceivable power, we dedicate this book to the sun. Thanks for not eating us yet. The Authors Title Page Copyright Dedication Acknowledgments Introduction A Brief Recap of Your Squandered Education CHAPTER 1 Health and AnatomyStuck inside an insane machine with a user’s guide made of lies CHAPTER 2 BiologyThe propaganda campaign to make you think all cool animals are dead CHAPTER 3 World HistoryIf it was written by the winners, they are boring liars CHAPTER 4 Sex EducationLies about your junk and how to use it CHAPTER 5 PhysicsThe universe is an unpredictable magic show CHAPTER 6 U.S. HistoryThe (bullshit) superhero movie CHAPTER 7 Health and NutritionTricked into living fat and dying young CHAPTER 8 P
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