Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last

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Description

Author: Gottman Ph.D., John

Color: Cream

Number Of Pages: 240

EAN: 9780684802411

Release Date: 01-06-1995

Languages: English

Item Condition: UsedGood

Binding: Paperback

Details: Product Description Psychologist John Gottman has spent twenty years studying what makes a marriage last. Now you can use his tested methods to evaluate, strengthen, and maintain your own long-term relationship. This breakthrough book guides you through a series of self-tests designed to help you determine what kind of marriage you have, where your strengths and weaknesses are, and what specific actions you can take to help your marriage. You'll also learn that more sex doesn't necessarily improve a marriage, frequent arguing will not lead to divorce, financial problems do not always spell trouble in a relationship, wives who make sour facial expressions when their husbands talk are likely to be separated within four years and there is a reason husbands withdraw from arguments—and there's a way around it. Dr. Gottman teaches you how to recognize attitudes that doom a marriage—contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling—and provides practical exercises, quizzes, tips, and techniques that will help you understand and make the most of your relationship. You can avoid patterns that lead to divorce, and— Why Marriages Succeed or Fail will show you how. From the Back Cover Psychologist John Gottman has spent 20 years studying what makes a marriage last. Now you can use his tested methods to evaluate, strengthen, and maintain your own long-term relationship. This breakthrough book guides you through a series of self-tests designed to help you determine what kind of marriage you have, where your strengths and weaknesses are, and what specific actions you can take to help your marriage. You'll also learn: More sex doesn't necessarily improve a marriage Frequent arguing will not lead to a divorce Financial problems do not always spell trouble in a relationship Wives who make sour facial expressions when their husbands talk are likely to be separated within four years There is a reason husbands withdraw from arguments--and there's a way around it Dr. Gottman tells you how to recognize attitudes that doom a marriage--contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling--and provides practical exercises, quizzes, tips, and techniques that will help you understand and make the most of your relationship. You can avoid patterns that lead to divorce, and Why Marriages Succeed or Fail will show you how. About the Author John Gottman, PhD has written numerous academic articles and is the author or coauthor of forty books, including the bestselling The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. His breakthrough research on marriage and parenting that has earned him numerous major awards, including four National Institute of Mental Health Research Scientist Awards. Currently a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington, Gottman lives on Orcas Island, Washington. Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. Chapter 1 WHAT MAKES MARRIAGE WORK? Have you and your spouse ever planned a big romantic getaway only to find that once alone together, you fall into the same argument you've had twenty times before? Maybe it's about plans for the future -- whether to buy a bigger house, when or if to have a child, how to save for retirement. Or perhaps it's a past wound -- the way he acted on the honeymoon, or her fling with a co-worker that ended years ago. Or it could be a never-ending debate over housework, disciplining the children, when to have sex, or how to spend vacations. I know a woman who traveled with her husband all the way to New Zealand, only to have a nasty spat the night of their arrival. He wanted to go deep-sea diving the next day; she wanted to sun on the beach. "Your ideas are always so reckless," she fumed. "Why can't you just act like the middle-aged man you are?" He retaliated, "You stifle my sense of adventure," adding a note of quiet contempt: "You bore me to tears." Soon she was in tears, as their cross-fire continued for about an hour, until they finally called

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